(Source: blogsecret)

You were one of my only friends that i never fought with. You were always that level-headed friend, the bigger person. I understand that this whole thing was a misunderstanding, and maybe i came at you too harsh, but is that really worth it to end a friendship? We were all 4 bestfriends, we were like the sisterhood of the traveling pants. Now youre going off to Reno, and starting college out there. You have one more day left here…and then youre gone. I dont want this to be left on a horrible note. I dont want you to leave while we are in a fight. I dont understand why you are being so stubborn. Im honestly not even mad anymore about the whole reason why we got in a fight. The only reason why im hurt is because you dont even care…we were all such close bestfriends, so many memories and years put into our friendship, and youre just going to act like you dont care and you cant wait to leave? how can you not care, i dont understand. not only are you hurting me, but you are hurting your other two bestfriends. youre splitting up our whole entire friendship due to your stubbornness. i guess its all up to you. I just hope i get my old bestfriend back and you make the right decision, because honestly, i feel like i dont even know you right now…

“To begin with, your physical form is the result of great emotional focus. The fantastic energy of your psyche not only created your physical body, but maintains it. It is not one continuous thing, although to you it seems permanent enough while it lasts. It is nevertheless in a constant state of pulsation, and because of the nature of energy and its construction, the body is actually blinking off and on.

Now: This is difficult to explain, and for our present purposes it is not entirely necessary that you understand the reasons for this pulsing; but even physically, you are “not here” as often as you are. Your emotional intensity and focus create forms beside your physical body, however their duration and degree dependent upon the intensity of any given emotional origin.

Your space is therefore filled with incipient forms, quite vivid, but beneath the regular structure of matter that you perceive…

These projections [of electromagnetic energy forms,] then actually are sent out constantly. Some more sophisticated scientific instruments than you now have would clearly show not only the existence of these forms, but also vibrations in varying waves of intensity surrounding those physical objects that you do perceive.

(9:57.) To make this clearer, look at any table in the room before you. It is physical, solid, and you perceive it easily. Now for an analogy, imagine if you can that behind the table is another just like it, but not quite as physical, and behind that one another, and another behind that — each one more difficult to perceive, fading into invisibility.

And in front of the table is a table just like it, only a bit less physical appearing than the “real” table — it also having a succession of even less physical tables extending outward. And the same for each side of the table.

Now anything that appears in physical terms also exists in other terms that you do not perceive. You only perceive realities when they achieve a certain “pitch,” when they seem to coalesce into matter. But they actually exist, and quite validly at other levels…

Yours is not a system of reality formed by the most intense concentration of energy, therefore. It is simply the one you are tuned into, part and parcel of. You perceive it simply for this reason.

Other portions of yourself, therefore, of which you are not consciously aware, do inhabit what you would call a supersystem of reality in which consciousness learns to handle and perceive much stronger concentrations of energy, and to construct “forms” of a different nature indeed.

Your idea of space is then highly distorted, since space to you is simply where nothing is perceived. It is obviously filled with all kinds of phenomena that make no impression at all upon your perceptive mechanisms.

Now in various ways and on occasion, you can tune into these other realities to some degree - and you do so spasmodically, though in many cases the experience is lost because it does not register physically.” — Seth

every night when im laying down in bed, before i fall asleep, I always come to the conclusion that im filled with nothing but blankness. I feel as if I have no feelings anymore, im just numb. Ive been apart and accustomed to the same routine for such a long time now, that i almost forgot what it was like to be me. I feel like i am at such a weird stage in my life, and i dont know how to get myself out of this hole. if only i knew the answer, things would be much simpler.

You can’t just sit around and expect things to just happen for you. If there’s something you want, work for it in any way that you can. Things will eventually fall into place very precisely because both effort and focus were put into it. Even getting yourself out of something as damaging as depression is possible if you do what you can to change it; things you love, standing up for what you know is right, going on adventures, gardening, traveling, cooking, collecting, keeping a journal, writing music, drawing, painting, web designing, water rafting, staring at the stars, going to the beach… there are an infinite amount of activities and potential passions available to us if we choose to recognize those things and act on them. The only person that will ever limit what you do is yourself. You can sit around putting the blame on outward circumstances all you want, but I guarantee that it will get you nowhere because your life is your responsibility. It is your choice where you go in life and what you do.

i hate you. i hate you for making me feel this way. now i cant fall asleep because i have too much on my mind. all im feeling is regret. fuck you for making me feel like this. fucking asshole. i actually have feelings too, and that definitely didnt make them feel good. not even after being a complete asshole after we hooked up, and basically kicked me out right after, i thought when you texted me you were going to apologize for the way you acted. but no…it went a little more like “sorry i forgot to say this but could we keep this between just us our secret please? i hate drama and it would be very nice lol :) good night”

i dont understand why you were trying to hangout and get to know me so bad if you were just going to end up treating me like this….i dont know why this took such an effect on me. i guess that feeling of rejection just really gets to me and it was so brutal and straight forward. it just makes me feel like complete shit and that im worth nothing.